I Said No

I haven't added to my blog in over a week. Not meaning that I have nothing left to say. I have a lot more to say. I am just in the midst of having my life being dissected in a way as to make me look like "I asked for it." And OMG, as if RAPE DOESN”T MATTER!!! JUST GET OVER IT – MOVE ON – Hell if I hadn’t been raped, I don’t think I would be such a mess. All that seems to matter to those who want to “fix me” is that if on those occasions of the anniversary of my rape, the anniversary of his conviction, etc. etc. I wouldn’t drink. Of course to them, rape doesn’t matter. Such a small matter. NOT TO ME! If I did not drink than all my problems would be solved.- LOL ! I don’t want to offend anyone, but attending AA meetings will not stop my nightmares. I also think that suggesting that as a resolution to my problems is perhaps naïve at best. I am trying to be nice. If AA works for you then GREAT! It doesn’t work for me. I am not a Christian – I am an inclusionist. I have decided to check myself into a thirty day program that isn’t an AA program. I hope it helps. I hope someone will hear my cries. I hope, I hope I hope.

Please let me know you hear me.