Upcoming Topics

My mind has turned to mush, and I am not sure I could construct a paragraph that makes any sense tonight. It has been a very emotional day. Deciding whether or not to start this blog was a difficult decision. In the end, I think writing it will turn out to have been the right thing to do. Yet at the same time, I realize I am potentially subjecting myself to skepticism, criticism, ridicule and rejection (not unlike making the decision to tell). Scary, but not so scary as to make me change my mind. The floodgates have opened and if my writing helps someone else than it will be worth it.

The state of my apartment reflects the state of my mind - a disorganized mess. I think I need to take some time to regroup before I try to write about something serious and emotional. So for tonight, I will post this list of topics I want to write about that I started earlier today.

1. Know what your medical records say
2. Failings of the mental health system
3. My envy of my dogs crate
4. Depression vs. Frustration
5. Therapy during a Civil Suit
6. To tell or not to tell - which hell is worse
7. Residential treatment programs
8. On Being Jane Doe - pros and cons
9. EMDR - I hear it works, but I am afraid
10. Some myths about TBI
11. You look great - you must be all better!
12. Silence - whose idea was that anyway
13. Understanding the GAF scale
14. PAWS Program - Pets and Women's Shelters
15. The taxi cab drivers fMRI study results - showing how doing something over and over again creates a super pathway in the brain - comparing that to how having to tell your assault story over and over again makes recovery from the trauma even more difficult
16. Civil Suit tactics used by the defense - it's not personal - according to who?
17. Psychiatrists and medication
18. Crying out for help - is anybody listening - why I tried to commit suicide
19. Psychiatric hospitalization - retraumatization can and often occurs in hospitals
20. Triggers
21. Bizare associations - I know I shouldn't be afraid of certain things but I am
22. My air mattress has a hole in it so I am sleeping on the floor - no biggie - I'll fix it someday - and other little things that really don't matter
23. The inability to set personal boundaries during a Civil Suit
24. Menopause
25. Civil Suit - having to turn over personal journals, therapist's records, phone records, and more. Having just about every detail of your life scrutinized by people whose only motive is to make you look like you are to blame for what has been done to you
26. Can they really test levels of neurotransmitters? And if so, why isn't this done before prescribing psychotropic drugs?
27. Screaming and the desire to scream and not being able to scream
28. Self-medicating and other unhealthy coping mechanisms
29. I would do better if I knew better - recovering from trauma
30. I need a vacation (seriously, I am not joking)

If you have any ideas about what you would like me to write about, please leave a comment.

Thanks, good night and big hugs to all!